MONTANA: F'IN BIG.

DO NOT drive across this state the long way all at once. It is way too big and way too unnerving. And it all looks like that. All 800-whatever miles of it.

The only thing worse than driving across Montana during the day was crossing Idaho at night. Holy shit, it was like driving a turd through the septic system. Pitch black, up, down, curve this way, curve that way...it also didn't help matters that I was wired on ginseng pills and ludicrously-named energy drinks. (Amp? NoS? COCAINE!? Marketing genius.)

But we made it. Rather, I made it and the band managed to take some very good naps. Sleep is a precious commodity on these tours; I don't get much of it.

We're in Seattle right now, and the turnout for the show was pretty minimal. It seems the music scene in this depressing-ass, whiny-liberal town isn't what it used to be. Portland, Oregon is tomorrow, and while it's still as "blue" as it is here, at least it's a nicer town and a better scene. California is coming up very soon too, which will be lots of fun. I don't recommend staying there for more than a few days, though. It'll rub off on you, and pretty soon you'll think that shitty movie you were in gives your political opinions more importance than other people. You'll also decide Botox is a great idea and vote for Obama. Don't do it.