A paradox...

Everyone bitches about "best of" lists, but all the same people eat them up like rock candy laced with crack. It's more like an excuse to unleash their awesome taste and superior opinions on the masses. I've done them, and I'm bored as shit with them. But there's a little bit of OCD nagging deep in my cerebellum, so I feel like I need to throw something out there. In lieu of rattling off a bunch of movies/albums/whatever from 2009, here are a few things from the past year I really enjoyed:

Best Beard Metal Album of 2009: KYLESA - Static Tensions


Yeah, I said it. Better than Baroness, Mastodon, 16, and whatever other sludge you can sling my way this year. Kylesa have discovered the perfect storm of riffs, melody and song structure that their peers just couldn't seem to find. This is the South on the rise.

Funniest new TV show of 2009: THE LEAGUE


F/X has been a reliable source for original programming for years, and The League keeps the winning percentage high. Success with shows like this come down to two things: good writing and comedic timing. If you haven't seen the "Mr. McGibblets" episode yet, what the fuck are you waiting for? Watch it here. Now.


Best movie of 2009: Inglorious Basterds


Oh shit, I went there. Yeah, The Road and Sherlock Holmes haven't come out yet, but it doesn't matter. Nothing I saw or will see this year can touch the pure cinematic joy of this film. The ghosts of Peckinpah and Sturges haunt the dark corners of this movie. Humor, despair, horror, and redemption woven through some of the most memorable war-movie characters since The Dirty Dozen. You can't go wrong.